:.. ♥ Nađđie ♥ ..: ® ™
♥ 4th March ♥
♥ sing sing sing ♥
♥ Westlife ♥
♥ McFly ♥

LOURVE

wadeva the result will be next week, God, please, let it be good..

Dear God,
hear my prayer,
hear my cry,
hear my plea..

all i ever want in my life is to have my family healthy & well.. don let me down, Dear God.. help me, i want them to be save all the time, save from all kinds of disasters, illnesses, anythin..

i need sumone to stand by me all the time, & i noe that U're doin ur responsibility as my CREATOR to look after me as well as the rest of the world..

Pugsley,
reply please.. i need to talk to u!!

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well, seems like my blog's back to normal, thank goodness..

had quite a bad day..
that's cuz my ear piece is missing.. i noe i kept it last nite inside my Sony pouch, left it juz beside my pillows, juz wad i do almost every nite.. haiz, how can it go missing.. i've no other ear piece, & i really need to listen to McFly before i go to sleep.. looks like my sis will have to stay awake couple of nites cuz until i get a new one, i'll have to sing myself to sleep.. haiz

had a shock after school, there'd been a bad news for me.. thank goodness it didn't last that long.. i'll have to wait until next thursday for the X-Ray results.. crap

cooked for my dad & bro & myself bout an hour ago.. mom didnt cook so it was my turn to cook tonite.. haha

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crap.. wad's happened to my blog.. too lazy to blog tonite

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ok, let's see.. wad's in store in my head tonite.. not much i think..

my mood was considerably light this mornin, seeming that i was extra noisy today in class, if Pugsley was here he'd say "sumthin's brewing with this bird".. God, i miss him...

my classmates were like "u r very noisy huh today? why all of the sudden?" i wish i could give them an answer.. i don even noe myself anymore, things changed a whole lot, there's now way my life can be like how it used to be.. i can feel it, both my besty mate & me r driftin apart, he tried starting a conversation with me & i was like i need to go away now.. like, u noe, his gal's always seem to be sumwhere nearby & i don want another "fight".. seriously can't be bothered.. i mean, i've been used & i'm not afraid to finish it off, juz that, i'm supposed to be studyin & not picking fights with others who think that the whole world is revolving around them.. sick & tired of these kinda people.. whoever's the one tasting chillie, ur the one who'll taste its spicyness..

so, wad i've been up to these days, been reading a couple of fan fictions written by various writers/fans of McFly.. very nice stories, maybe sumday when i can obtain permission by the writer of a nice story, i'll post up one of the stories for whoever who enjoys browsing my blog to read.. very nice, trust me..
but u must be a true fan of McFly..

hmm, i don have the energy to write summore, all these thinking & stuff r like draining out my life force.. age is catchin up on me..

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ok, had a wonderful laughable day in school... very nice, felt real good juz now

ok,
it was during Bio, we had a new teacher.. so obviously, we had an ice breaker.. the new guy got sum of my classmates to read a couple of questions about the peeps in class..

first question was: Who is the most popular girl among the boys in class?
the boys agreed on a certain name, mine.. when asked why, one of them said "sexy".. omg, u dunno how hard i tried not to blush.. hahax

& then, a sweet little boy said i'm pleasant.. why, he said i like to hit him that's why he thinks im pleasant hahax.. Arif, ur juz so cute

second question: Who is the most popular girl among the girls?
again my name was called up, cuz the gals seemed to think that i'm funny, nice etc.. too mych to say hahax..

when the question was who was the most popular guy among the girls, i said Arif.. cuz, he's hot.. i mean, he really is hot & nice & pleasant too.. he was like one of the many guys who comforted me when i was down & told me that i'll be ok... ain't that sumthin??

so,
i wanna say thanks to Arif, YQ, "Jason", Deon, YJ, Hamtaro, Jasper, Ryan, long nails darlin boy, KaiHui, Shawn, ShaSha, saM, Atik, Janesy & all those who supports me all the time those silly questions were asked..

hee hee..

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juz came back from the cemetery, out visiting my late relatives; Gramps, Uncle Ali, my youngest Aunt's husband: Uncle J, Uncle J's father, & sum others whom i don really noe.. i looked like a delicate young woman today..

term starts tomorrow, not sayin that i can't wait to get back to school, in fact i dread it.. i don wanna go to school, it's exhausting.. wad with inconsiderate ppl in class, there's juz no way i can get myself to sit up & pay attention..

can't even be bothered with my art piece, didn't even do any holiday homework, don even raelized there's any until last nite..

sick, sick, sick...

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was fun during training this mornin, laughed a whole lot.. craziness & silly Damian came up with GOOD meanings for the initials of his rank, SI, Stupid Idiot.. juz great that it was him who came up with that, when WE came up with Smelly Idiot etc.. hahax

danced a little, thanks to NéNa, saM, Shika.. craziness i tell u, swayed a little, read between the lines & probably u'll noe i danced to wad song.. Néna commented that i've let wadeva stuff i had on me out.. didn't noe i was a GREAT dancer.. last i danced in front of many, it was hideous.. hahax

thinkin of using Grease' You're the one that i want for our P.O.P... craZY.. really!!

came back home all dark.. & i did my best to lighten up my complexion, dammit.. bad, bad, bad..

somehow, i don understand wad happened when my dad reached home.. i was watchin tv in his room when he came in & asked why i didn't go to sleep, & i asked him why should i go to sleep.. & then he said i looked tired, pale & sick..

ok, that was weird.. never had anyone, my dad 'specially, tellin me that i look tired.. & he hardly commented on me other than the times i asked him bout my fashion sense, which for ur information, i have perfect taste, or rather close to perfect.. nuthin's perfect in this world..

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like, i already missed my Supernatural.. no luck..

& my squad mates r like asking me time & again when r we gonna raise the national & school flag.. MR OW YONG, i can't answer them when u don answer me...

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i juz dunno wad else to do.. there's juz no way i can get in touch with u, no forwarding address, no wad..

juz came back from Malacca, was ok, better than the last trip bout 5 years ago, i think.. many things've changed, new bus depot, new shops.. wadeva..

bought a pair of shades; Ray Ban,
juz how cool is that??

got myself a teddie.. name's Huggie Bear.. very sweet lookin lil' thing, though e eyes may seem a little bit on the hostile side.. but i juz loved it all the same hahax

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i'm sorry Pugsley..
i can't fight anymore.. my feelings got the better of me.. how can i go against him when she used my feelings against me? she said she can tell that i loved him, that she'd give him up for me.. how can i accept that, when i noe how he felt bout her? when they got together, i can't say anything against it, i juz don have e heart to. he's my fren, my best buddy, i cant see him hurt.. all i ever wanted was to see him happy.. as long as he's happy, i am happy.. i walked away from that confrontation in school juz now, u told me once, i should fight for love but i juz can't do it.. i'd give anything to have you here Pugs, i'm growing weaker, i need a man by my side.. i told them, i'm cool with all these, i want it to stop, i can't be bothered with it.. he asked why am i walking away? i can't answer that, because the truth is, i can't bear to see him with her.. she's juz not the one for him.. u noe, weeks ago, when i saw him hurt from the conflicts between them, i felt hurt too.. it wasn't fair for him i noe, it wasn't his fault. if anyone's to blame, she should get it. i was sick to my guts when i got to noe that she's seein sumbody else, his fren, when they're still together.. i pitied him, it's as if i can feel his pain.. i dunno, Pugs, but it hurts to see him hurt.. it hurts more when i got to noe she said that should they break up, she still have that other guy to fall back on, but he won have anyone there for him.. then a nice fren said my name, she said would he be happy with my kind of girl.. i was wounded, was it fair for me? i swear i never laid a finger on her, e most i can remember was i did helped with her revisions.. i don mix around with her that much cuz i don want to.. yet, she claimed that the nice fren was e one who started on the conversation that had me involved & my negative sides was the topic.. i mean, come on, get real, only my close frenz should noe MY negative & positive sides, so wad does SHE noe bout me? when i was walkin away from the confrontation juz now, she screamed from behind me, "Why don u admit that u love him?" i retaliated that whether i love or not, that's my business, i never did tell her anything bout it no matter how much she guessed.. wad she said later on, i didnt really get it, cuz i was fighting back tears, keeping them to myself.. i can't even look at him, deep inside i wanted to fight for my rights, but i didnt mainly because i dunno how he would react once he know wad she said bout me & stuff, would he still be there by my side like he did all these years or continue doin his gal's bidding..

God, Pugsley...
i wasn't strong enough to fight for my love.. i let u down, i remembered every single thing u told me before u left.. ouh, why? why must all these happen to me, Pugs? wad did i do to deserve this? had i ever wronged anyone? i noe i'm no angel, but u noe me best, i don talk unless u talk to me first or there's sumthin important for me to relate.. so, dear God, help me go thru this ordeal.. u never did tell me bout ur feelings for me.. my mistake, i should have never let u convinced me to talk bout my life.. or maybe i do, i dunno.. Love is such a complicated thing to understand..

i'm posting this only for u Pugs. i can't send a copy of this thru Jaz's hotmail account.. it's too private.. so, i'm hoping & prayin that u'll be able to read this Pugs. & for God's sake, please get urself an email account so i'm able to communicate with u, i don wanna lose touch with u, i can't take this anymore..
i'm leaving for my Geography trip tomorrow, i noe u'll be busy with ur job wherever u are.. i guess all i can ask for now is for u to be healthy, safe & happy always..
i'll always love u

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The Crucible - Daniel Day-Lewis
Winona Ryder
Joan Allen
Cast list i got on that play by some guy, i cant remember his name, oh yes, Arthur Miller...

found only a part of the show at Youtube, should anyone own a record of that show, please contact me.. this sudden interest is not really that sudden.. i noe a little on the Salem Witchcraft days, where many were accused of bein witches & sentenced to burn on stakes in the year 1692, a dandy long time ago..

anyways,
if u r also interested in the Salem, Massachusetts Witch Trial..
do tag...

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u DAMN hell of an ASSHOLE..
u bitched bout me..
thought u were a fren..
u bitched bout me..
& i'm starting to get very, very ANGRY!!

u came into my life,
u made frens with me,
i don intend to let u noe bout me,
yet i was still kind enough to be ur fren back,
& u backstabbed me..

this long time no contact fren huh??
i was rite bout u at first glance, dammit..
i should have stayed with my own guts..
i discarded my own gut feelings thinking that maybe u need a pal..

u made it seemed that i LOVED it when both u & him had conflicts,
for ur information,
i felt sick to my stomach,
sick that u R making use of my fren,
wad does it matter to u if I love him or not,
u got wad u want, didnt u?
u got him to be ur boyfren,
u don wanna let him go,
but u ASKED me,
u TOLD me,
that u'd give him up for me if I want u too

listen here,
it's a free world,
if he realizes that i'll always be there for him,
& decided to break up with u,
it DOES NOT have anything to do with me
that's juz because,
he has brains,
he can do his own thinking for himself
& nothing u'd say would change his mind..

u better watch out..
i'm not sumthin that u can juz flicked away like an old, broken toy..
I AM VINDICTIVE

ouh,
btw,
it'll be really GREAT if U can understand wad i'm sayin here,
cuz it seemed,
u dunno e meaning of using perfect English during communications..
nobody seemed to understand ant fuckin thing u were tryin to say
so listen to MY advice;

quit using English
if u dunno how to use it correctly...

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i dunno wad to write bout... i'm learnin to speak like an Irish, that's really difficult cuz it's not that easy to get sum Irish person to talk to me in my face.. wadeva

my social studies teacher told me sumthin juz now, said that my geog teacher wants me to pushed harder for social studies so that i'll be able to score an A2 for my Humanities.. i was so touched, nobody ever wanted e best out of me, maybe i'm juz exaggerating, but anyways, i'm touched...

still waitin' for yer to come home to me..
still waitin'
still waitin'

but...

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No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true

No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We’ll find our own way back

can’t deny what I believe
I can’t be what I’m not
I know our love forever
I know, no matter what

If only tears were laughter (ooh)
If only night was day (ooh)
If only prayers were answered (hear my prayers)
Then we would hear God say (say)

No matter what they tell you (ooh)
No matter what they do (ooh)
No matter what they teach you
What you believe is true

And I will keep you safe and strong
And shelter from the storm
No matter where it’s barren
A dream is being born

No matter who they follow
No matter where they lead
No matter how they judge us
I’ll be everyone you need

No matter if the sun don’t shine (sun don’t shine)
Or if the skies are blue (skies are blue)
No matter what the end is
My life began with you

I can’t deny what I believe (what I believe, yeah)
I can’t be what I’m not(I know, I know)
I know this love’s forever
That’s all that matters now
No matter what

No matter what (no, no matter, no)
No, no matter
That’s all that matters to me

this one's for u, Pugs..
dedicated to Arif "GAYBOY" who is in search of a Lesbo for a galpal

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